Hailey's 5th birthday party

Last night we celebrated Hailey's birthday. We did it early because Darrin and Jenna are going out of town and we have another party we got invited to down in VA on Saturday. It felt a little "off" to me because it was so many days before her actual birthday, so I was having a hard time getting into the birthday spirit that day BUT seeing her excitement changed that pretty quick :)

At 9am she was setting the table, at 10am, she was hanging decorations and asking me to blow up balloons. By 11am the house was decorated and guests weren't coming till 5pm. The enthusiasm of kids, wow...haha, it's so great.

She was so cute because for a while now she has been coloring all the pages in her Disney princess coloring book that are scenes from Sleeping Beauty. And she had been telling me that they were to hang for her birthday party. And that was exactly what she did. She brought me the coloring book, asked me to carefully tear out all the pages she colored and she proceeded to hang them all over the house! We had scenes from the movie on her colored pages everywhere. I love her attention to detail.

I had also bought her a bouquet of red roses (obviously because of Briar Rose and she holds a rose when she is asleep) and then each girl got to take a rose home with them.

After Owen went down for his nap we started working on her cake.

this doorway was just begging to be a castle gate, so I obliged.

I love how we are looking at each other in this one :) Also, Owen is a giant.

we look like a family of dunces. Why do they love party hats so much??

I had printed images of Aurora and Philip and Hailey helped me glue them to party hats. Girls wore the princess and boys wore the prince.

We gave her a new bike (she learned how to ride without training wheels last week!!) and a set of sheets and comforter that was Sleeping Beauty themed. The bike also had disney princesses on it including Aurora. I had found all of it at a yard sale that I randomly decided to stop at, just to see if I saw anything I wanted. Seriously, the Lord loves to love us in the smallest details!!! And she was just over the moon about it all.

My favorite things she said:

While decorating the house:"I am the leader today."

Randomly: "Casey, I am a grown up now."

(which is too funny, and SMART because we tell them things like, you are getting to be so grown up....you are so grown up now, etc!!! And we refer to ourselves as GROWN UPS! It killed me.)

While getting ready for bed: "Mommy, everyone likes me."

I stopped what I was doing and got down in front of her, looked her straight in the eye and said, "Yes they do! Because God made you so special and sweet!" And I felt compelled to add, "And if ever someone doesn't, they are the silly one."  And she gave me the biggest smile and hug.

I am so proud of her because she is blossoming so much and did so well with the few guests that we had over. She is talking more willingly to people she has been extremely shy and nervous around in the past. She really is growing up :)

Have Courage and Be Kind

Ever since I took Hailey on a mother-daughter date to see the new Cinderella, I have often thought about the phrase from the movie, "have courage and be kind." I so badly want to instill these things in my children. 

This morning, I got choked up as Hailey told me something that really shocked me.

You see, when Hailey was 10 months old, on the eve of Mother's Day as it happened, I put her to bed with a little pink blankie/bear. That night she slept through the night for the first time, and never looked back. (It was a wonderful Mother's Day present from her! I remember waking up and realizing I had slept through the night because Hailey had!!!) Ever since that night she has been inseparable from it. She would take it to church, the grocery store, the library, to bed, she would hold it close whenever she was upset, nervous or afraid. We lost it in Washington DC and we retraced our steps to miraculously find it on the sidewalk. She chewed the nose off and I patched it. The bear head/arms fell off and I patched it. She loved it so hard there were holes it in. And I patched it. I washed it and bleached it. And she kept on loving it.

This past week we were visiting family in Wichita, KS and as usual, Hailey went to bed with it every night. We left on Friday morning and broke up the 1200 mile long trip by crashing with some friends in St. Louis that night. They have a boy and a girl same ages as ours, Rose and Gus. And I remember seeing Hailey with the blanket in the driveway as we were getting our things to take inside for the night.

But after dinner and playing, as I was putting her to bed, it was no where to be found. No where. And I looked every.where.

My sweet girl tearfully went to bed without it and I told her we would keep looking. The next morning we still couldn't find it. We had a 14 hour drive ahead of us and we told our friends to mail it if they found it!  I felt so bad, I was holding on to hope!!

During the long drive, she told me a few times she missed it, and wanted it, and cried again at one point. She kept telling me, "My blankie is so special to me. You gave it to me when I was a baby. It is my friend. I miss it." (it made my heart ache a little for her!)

When we got home around 11pm, I put her to bed with another blanket from when she was little and told her I would search the car in the morning.

After combing every inch of the car this morning, I told her it wasn't there either. She didn't get upset, she just didn't say anything.

Then a few minutes later, as I was getting dressed for church, she came up to me and said, "Mommy, Rose and Gus can have my blankie now and I can have this one instead." (she was holding the one I gave her to sleep with the night before)

Luke and I looked at each other like, "can you believe this??" I got down next to her and told her how brave and kind that was. Because it was. And maybe we are the only ones who recognize it as such, because we know how attached she was to it. It was so innocent, so unprompted, and simply pure sweetness.

This afternoon I told Luke I would know whether or not it was going to stick when bedtime came. I didn't know if she would decide she still missed it or wanted it. But when I told her it was time, she wondered outloud, "where is my blanket?" and walked over and picked up the one from the night before.

I really am proud of her. These things can be hard when you are young! 

Summer 2011, 15 months old

Christmas 2012

Halloween (in her hands) 2014

Last week :(

The nap dliemma

The dilemma of the 3 year old nap is something we face daily. Jim Gaffigan has a hilarious section about it in his book "Dad is Fat." I highly recommend you get the book from your library, especially if you have kids. A three year old who naps doesn't go to bed till a ridiculously late hour, yet if they don't nap, they are falling apart hard core by 5pm. Sometimes sooner. 4-7pm becomes an absolute nightmare. Lots of temper tantrums and melt downs. BUT then they will go to bed, totally passed out, at 7:30pm. So it's a trade off. Which would you rather have, I ask myself each day, a break in the afternoon, or an earlier evening to yourself with the hubs? 

It ends up being that Hailey takes about two or three naps a week. She can't really go more than two days in a row without a nap. And they have gotten shorter, if she naps it's from like 2-3pm. Which is fine with me, because then she is still tired around 8pm. 

And some days, she just ends up crashing in the couch. This is becoming something of a Sunday ritual...

I kiss that little cheek a dozen times a day, I can't help myself. 

Hailey Loves

Hailey just wants to be loved. Every child does but she lets me know very clearly every day that she needs hugs, and affirmation. I've been trying to stop and just "be" with her more. And I'm already reaping the rewards. She is more calm, more pleasant and cheerful. When her love tank, as I call it, is low, she becomes whiny, clingy, moody, mean to Casey, emotional...to name just a few. I can write it off as, "she's being three, she's being a girl, she didn't nap today" and yes, those things are factors. But really, she just needs to know Mommy loves her. 

Today we watched Charlotte's Web (the one with Dakota Fanning and Julia Roberts) during rest time and had a snack together. She got to have three unbroken graham crackers. Her favorite. I don't know if it's the brand I buy, but they break SO easily, even when lifting them out of the package. When they are all broken in pieces she's upset. 

We built a doll house together out of leggo's. 

And then she fell asleep in my arms. My three year old. I treasured it. 

We had some really hard days, she and I, in the last week. A lot of melt downs. So much whining it was unreal. And when I pray and ask God what to do, He tells me to just love her. It doesn't mean not disciplining her, I do, and I'm learning in those areas too. Thankfully, we are making strides. I'm learning what consequences are effective for her and more concrete rules are being established. I no longer feel like things are spiraling out of control and she doesn't heed my discipline. She is now. 

And I find that when I look at her and try to see her as Christ does, to love her as He does, to see her sweetness, she is such a happier child and I am one happier Mommy. Its not easy and I fail often but I am thankful to know how she feels the most loved. And knowing is half the battle as they say :)

Family haircuts!

None of this was planned per se, but all of us are sporting some brand new awesome haircuts. Luke and I got our haircut on Thursday, just ended up working out that way....we both had been wanting to go and Luke got home early on that day. He called up the place and they could take both of us right way. I sat with the kids in the car while he went first and then when it was my turn he took the kids down to the park.

Then today, it was Hailey and Casey's turn! Kind of impromptu but often that's just how it happens in our house. Daddy is free now, let's do this!

I didn't get any "after" pics of Hailey, but she is darn cute too. Everyone should be all set for a month or two! This sure wasn't on my list of things to do before the baby comes, haha, but hey it's pretty great all the same.

My Sweet Son

Casey was having such a rough morning the other day because of teething. He hadn't gotten a good nights sleep because of it...not to mention a wicked diaper rash he had developed within the previous day. So around 10:15am, I scooped him up to comfort him and stop the endless crying and whining. The team was coming over for breakfast and I was wanting to help in the kitchen but this definitely took priority. 

I was so glad I stopped to just be with him. He fell asleep on my lap as we rocked. The sun was pouring in the window, Hailey was playing and the team was cooking and chatting in the next room, but none of that prevented him from just conking out. 

snuggling with his little brother in utero :)

I ended up missing breakfast with everyone, although they were just in the other room and they did bring me a plate of food. I was fulfilling my vocation and I could have been annoyed but honestly, that would have been kind of difficult because he was just so sweet. This hasn't happened in ages, and I've been so aware lately of how grown up he has become and that he isn't going to be my baby for much longer.

In general, Casey doesn't fight tiredness. He will close his eyes in the car with no fuss whatsoever. At bedtime, when I tell him, "Casey, time for bed, find your blankie, let's go..." he picks up his blanket and heads down the hall. Just yesterday, after I gave him the heads up, I went looking for him and he was already in the rocking chair with his blanket.

Casey, you are such a joy and will always be my special second born, my first son. I love you.

We should have known better

I've been wanting to share a little episode I had at the fabric store the other day and it turns out my good friend Jenny just had a similar experience recently courtesy of a Target employee. What is people's deal? Seriously.

Anyway, about a week ago at JoAnn Fabrics I received my most bold pregnancy comment yet. I had picked out fabric to make curtains for the baby's room and was asking an employee for help finding a new foot for my singer sewing machine. Turns out they didn't sell them for singer machines. But it went like this....

Lady: So how much longer?

Me: About 3 weeks.

Lady: Really?!? Wow, that much longer huh? (Giving my belly that "oh my you look big and still that much longer" kind of look) 

Me: Yeah, I have big babies, like 9 pounders. (Thinking, "give me a break? 3 weeks is not that much longer to be looking this big. sheesh)

Lady: Oh so you've done this before.

Me: Yes, this is our third.

Lady: Really? You'd think you would know better by now.

Me:

Me: umm..did she really just say what I think she said? Is she seriously implying what I think she is? Megan, hurry up and respond! Say something!

Maybe sensing my confusion....

Lady: Unless your one of those people that just loves to have babies.

Me: Yep! Sure do! We love em.



I couldn't believe it. Un.be.liev.able. She honestly made a comment directly implying that this all happened by accident, we were on our third because we didn't know better. I'm sorry, I didn't know better that if I had sex with my husband it could in fact produce a child. No mam, these children were wanted, each one of them.


Then, as I'm trying to walk away.....

Lady: Well, I suppose, surprise or not surprise, accident or not, (AGAIN, assuming that we couldn't possibly have wanted three children), you love each one.

Me: Yes, yes you do. Each one is such a miracle and a gift. Have a nice evening.

I walked away not mad exactly, just shocked. And more so at the fact that people feel comfortable making these kinds of comments to us pro-life mamas, rather than shocked that this was her position on life. For that, I felt sad for her and she may have ended up in my evening prayers.

I drove home thinking about all the unwanted babies, all the babies who died that day and who would die the next, and my heart was very heavy and sad. Sure Luke and I laughed when I called him in the parking lot to tell him, "should have know better honey. Should have stayed away from you, what in the world was I thinking?!?" But during that 30 minute drive back, I again thanked God for this little one inside me, and prayed that more couples would be open to the beauty and miracle of life.

Moments to Remember

These two....

gosh, how they melted my heart that evening! So sweet! 

Changes

It is SO weird to not be with Luke at focus summer training. I have gone every year for 7 years. That's a long time! I miss it so much! I miss being there, seeing everyone, and the energy, zeal and love for God and the Church that exudes from every missionary. I am so filled by simply being around them, getting to know the new first years....not to mention sitting in on classes and hanging out with friends in the evenings. Even the years we have gone with the kids, I still got to experience all of the above. I'm so in love with our focus family.

And yet, I have a lot of peace. I know this was the right decision to stay behind this year. Luke is able to stay more focused (no pun intended), be way more productive with his time, and I was not really thrilled at the idea of being in southern Florida 5 months pregnant with a 3 year old and 18 month old. I know this is where I'm supposed to be, as hard as it is.

Today's highs were.... 8:30am morning Mass again! Yay! Then leaving the house after two days of rain to run errands. Errands which included the kids playing in the child play area in the middle of the mall, me purchasing two amazing pairs of shoes on clearance at DSW (Hailey made Casey laugh hysterically by trying shoes - women's heels- on him as he sat strapped in the stroller. If I wasn't trying to hurry up and make a decision on what to buy and get out of there, I might have taken a video. It was so funny), the kids enjoying the lunch I packed them, picking up a bunch of random items at Walmart that were needed, included new shoes for Casey who recently had a random foot growth spurt and has the worst blisters from him shoes. It was shoe buyin kind of day. Then the kids NOT falling asleep in the car on the ride home,  and going down for late naps at 2pm!

And the lows were....allergies that just won't quit. Hot dogs for dinner because I was too tired to make the ham and sweet potato dinner I had planned. Casey teething and wanting to be held constantly. The temper tantrum Hailey threw in the check out line. Because you know, Casey was holding a pail and shovel, and despite the fact that she was holding an identical, matching pail and shovel, she wanted to have his. Toddlers. So the woman behind me asks her, "oh sweetie, do you want a pink one?" Hailey, voice quivering, "yeeesss....." Thanks lady. Explain to Hailey there was no pink.

I emailed these to Luke so he could see them being their usual crazy selves.

Me: "too close you two, back it up." Them: Not listening.

isn't her hair adorable?! 

yoga pro

trying to be taller :)

Off to bed so I can try to greet their early morning crys and moans for "cereal NOW" with a smile. Try.

Grateful

Luke is at focus summer training for 8 days so it's me and the kiddos and as we approach the end of merely day 2, I'm focusing on the small good things that have happened since he left. Because trust me, there is PLENTY that I could complain about.

-phone calls/texting with my sisters. They always brighten my day, even if our conversation is 5 min long. 

-diapers delivered to my doorstep. I always buy diapers online and sometimes I wait longer than I should to order more, and then we run out and I'm making a run to the grocery store to pick up a box. Then the next day or so, whenever the diapers arrive, we have an overflowing amount. Until we run out again. It's a crazy cycle, and I've tried automated delivery, setting them just to get delivered and my account charged every 2 months or so....but it doesn't really work out that well. We sometimes still run out, or Casey goes up a size and I forget to update my order, etc. Anyway.... yesterday we were out at playgroup and I thought about stopping by the store to get diapers, but knew the amazon order should be arriving any day, possibly that very day. So I took a chance. I put the last diaper on Casey before his nap and low and behold an hour into naptime UPS was knocking at my door with my precious box of size 5 Luvs. 

-chocolate. Although I'm thinking I should box every bit of it up and stash it in the attic while I'm doing this single parent thing because turning to chocolate every time I'm stressed is not.a.good.thing. 

-the Eucharist. Now that is what I need more of. Today I took the kids to 8:30 morning Mass. And it was the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I was so glad I was paying attention to the Holy Spirit prompting me to go all morning, without even knowing it was the Solemnity. We even stayed in the pew the whole time. Casey was a little talkative but there was a family of 7 in the tiny cry room so we stuck it out where we were. 

Off to put Hailey to bed, and hopefully will be blogging more in the week to come! I have a few other projects I want to work on around the house as well, so we'll see :)

Circus and Haircuts

The campus we serve at as Focus missionaries is in a very small rural town, BUT the circus came today! It was the Piccadilly circus, and they actually held it in the gym of the rec center. We had no idea what to expect, how elaborate or how small it would be. And I could have sworn I heard there would at least be elephants and monkeys. (Luke is reminding me at this very moment that he's not sure even the big circus has monkeys). They were what Hailey was most excited to see and talked about it all morning. So we walked in, and no one took our tickets, ummm, people could have just walked in without paying! Obviously we would never do that, but still. Made you feel stupid that you DID pay for it. It was bizarre.

But in we went and I immediately panicked. All I saw was a huge inflatable slide, a face painting station, people walking around selling cotton candy, a petting zoo and a pony ride. I thought we came to the circus, not the zoo!! And all that stuff that I just listed cost extra money. You could look at the animals at the petting zoo, which we did plenty of, but you had to pay to feed them. I eventually saw towards the back of the gym that there was the main circus ring, with a big curtain hung behind it, so I felt a little bit better....there would be more. When it began, the kids didn't know what to think, there was loud music, bright lights, and horses, people riding horses and doing tricks on them! There were acrobats, a clown, a contortionist, bicyclists in a round cage....Hailey ended up loving it all, and Casey warmed up towards the end, signified by him climbing down from my lap and clapping his hands. But, half way through, that smart little daughter of mine turns to me and makes the sounds for elephant and monkey, asking me, "where are they?" I didn't know what to say, so I fumbled and made up a tiny story. I said, they couldn't come today, they were sick and had to stay home. I hope that's not terrible! I knew she was confused, which was all my fault in the first place, and so I felt I needed to give her a reasonable explanation! Poor Hailey, she will go through so many mommy "firsts" with me. But like I said, she had so much fun. She would imitate the performers by doing what they were doing with their arms and hands, saluting to the crowd (similar to the way gymnasts do). And all evening she has been playing circus by dancing around and saluting.

It was such a wonderful Sunday family outing and it was right down the road, which made it so easy and convenient. I'm so glad we went and would definitely do it again next year if they come back! We got home right around dinner time and had a hodgepodge of leftovers. After dinner, it was time for haircuts and baths. I held Casey for Luke, and he was amazing, never squirmed or fussed. And Hailey was already in the bathtub, but even that didn't make him mad. He is so easy going. Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of him, but darn is he cute. I can't wait to see how handsome he looks in his new Easter 3-piece suit with his spiffy hair and all! It was his second haircut, but Hailey...it was her first. She is 2 and half and I have never cut her hair. Her baby fine curls were still at the tips but they were beginning to look quite straggly compared to the rest of her hair and would get knots so easily. So it was time. I had to leave to go to 7pm mass, (we had to split up for Mass today because Luke was actually attending a retreat till noon today), and I thought he would wait till I got back.

Nope. This is what I came home to....

I'm a little sad I wasn't there for it, but it might have been for the best. I probably would have gotten choked up.

So thankful for a blessed day with my family!

An Obsession with lotion

Hailey, that is. Not me. She is ridiculous. Granted she has very dry skin during the winter to the point that we actually limit the number of times she takes a bath each week (she would take one every night if we let her), and we completely slather her with thick thick cream afterwards. When I need to get extra aggressive I put the stuff on her every morning too. If she feels dry, she itches, and if her nails are long, she scratches herself, and then those oowies hurt and need more lotion.....and on and on it goes. I'm doing my best here, few baths, short nails, lots of lotion, and still she deems it not enough.

Two weeks ago, I peak in at naptime because I heard some noise and she had gotten a container of aquaphor off the top of the changing table. This stuff is basically Vaseline.

It was everywhere. She tried to put it on her hands and feet and in the process got it all over her shirt and pants, and bed. After getting her cleaned up, scolding her quite extensively to get the point across, I took a good look at her clothes. And walked away. I didn't know where to begin. Petroleum jelly didn't exactly seem like the type of stuff that was going to come out easily.

I think I put it through the wash on cold right way, but with other clothes too. Stupid. Thankfully it didn't get on anything else. But I didn't come out of her clothes either. At that point, I did the smart thing and ran to google.

Rubbing alcohol. I scoffed and walked away again. The technique was complicated -scrap off excess lotion, pour over area and pat with clean white cloth- ok so maybe I was just feeling lazy and I just didn't want to deal with it. I was also feeling like I had already messed the whole thing off because I had thrown it into the wash without scraping, etc, there is no way it will work mentality.

Yesterday I thought I should finally do something about it and gave it a go. There was no excess stuff to scrap off so I just doused it with the rubbing alcohol and let it sit. I didn't have any clean white cloths laying around to pat with.

Then I put it in the wash again, on cold.

This morning I am in shock. Not a trace. Obviously I'm so excited that I came here to tell you all about it.

And guess what? Last night Hailey was supposed to be falling asleep and she comes in to my room where I'm reading my Real Simple magazine (ironic, just the sort of magazine to give tips about stains) and she is COVERED in desitin.

Googling again to see if it's same solution.

I'm coming for you Butt Paste.

Model Family? Hardly.

When Hailey turned two over the summer, I began to be a little concerned over her lack of vocab. Long story short we started her in the Infants and Toddlers program that's free in the state of Maryland. A speech therapist comes to our house for a 45min session every other week. Hailey loves her and has been doing great. She has made incredible strides, both of our moments of communication frustration have decreased by leaps and bounds and I couldn't be more happy with how its gone.

At her last session, I asked our therapist what she thought of Hailey's progress, and did she think it was time for her to be re-evaluated. I basically was trying to ask without being too blunt if it was time for her to dismiss Hailey because I didn't want to have her keep coming, taking up our therapist's time, if Hailey was doing well enough. She told me that if we tested her and found her to be "typical" for her age, then she would be dismissed, but she added, "if we don't test her, then we don't find out, and then we can just keep going." They re-test anyway as part of the program after 6 months and it's only been about 4 for us. She then said, "I  also just really enjoy working with your family, you are like the model family." I stumbled around my words and said something like "no, no..." She said, "yes, really, you are."

It was such a sweet thing for her to say, and it did make me feel proud of our little family. Our children are happy, loved, clean, dressed and fed. But then it got me thinking about it more. What else does she see in the other homes she visits? I am so blessed to have grown up in a stable, loving family...to have married a faithful, virtuous Catholic man, and be raising our children in a house full of love. These things are normal to me and all I've ever known. What a blessing and a gift. And it made my heart ache a little wondering what other types of homes she witnesses. It made me want to be more patient, gentle and loving toward my husband and children.

Because that's the thing. We aren't the model family. Not in the slightest. Maybe to her...and I am more than grateful for her words of affirmation and the opportunity to be a witness to her. But we aren't the model family. Not in my book. I look to the Holy Family, St. Gianna and Pietro Molla, Louis and Zellie Martin (St. Therese's parents), to name a few, as my role models. I strive to imitate these holy men and women, and fail many times.

My only hope is that in being a model to Hailey's speech therapist, she is seeing Christ in us and may grow closer to Him.

Now I'm going to go to bed, and hope that by going to bed at a reasonable hour, I won't be Mrs. Grumpy who greets her children in a ugly mood in the morning.