Monday, April 22, 2013

Monday blues

Today has been rough. The kids weren't even that bad, I think I'm just sleep deprived. And we had a busy weekend with a friend visiting and Luke's birthday so I kind of crashed today and did nothing. I felt lazy and fat, tired and just plain hormonal. I'm 17 weeks and so far the 2nd trimester has been great. I have way more energy overall and the morning sickness is gone. But the cravings, ahhh, why do I want chocolate all day long?? Ugh, but let's focus on other more happy things that have been going on lately.

Hailey has started called Casey "Little Face." She says it so sweetly, and sometimes touches the side of his face gently as she says it. We have no idea how she came up with this but it's kind of adorable. She has also started talking to my belly and coming over to give me hugs and kisses. Again, no one prompted her to do any of this, and it just melts my heart. She has such a tender heart, that girl.

As for Casey, he is starting to say more words each week and is now up to: dada, yes, shoe, tickle tickle, ball, oh no, cheese, well as signing a whole bunch of words and making lots of animal sounds. It's so exciting after Hailey being such a late talker. He is such a boy. I'm so fascinated watching him as he explores and tries new things. He LOVES to just wander around outside in our yard, picking things up, a rock or stick, inspecting them, walking them over to the porch or putting them in a bucket, then dumping them out....and of course, getting his hands dirty. He is so cheerful all the time too, unlike my sometimes moody little lady.

So for Luke's birthday, I bought him a new wedding ring. He lost the original a while ago and I kept holding on to some hope that it would turn up. It hasn't, and so I'm giving in. It's not easy and the whole thing has kind of been difficult to swallow. The ring I gave him on our wedding day, I had had made, and it contained my chastity ring, melted down in the center. It was a two toned ring, silver on the outside, my gold chastity ring in the middle. It was so special and obviously symbolic. But, in prayer, the Lord reminded me that yes, it was symbolic and I was proud of the fact that I gave my husband the gift of my purity on our wedding day. I had saved myself for him. BUT, I was too proud.  I. Me. I did it. I'm so great.

Um, not in the slightest. All good comes from God. He had preserved me in grace, kept me from sin, helped me not fall into temptation along the way, HE alone was the reason I was able to wait and give the gift of my purity to my husband on our wedding day. Not me. And that fact will always be there, not seeing the chastity ring in his wedding band doesn't change that.

Seriously, the ways the Lord chooses to humble me and draw me closer to Him are so often the last thing I would expect. I just need to remember more often it's Him loving me.


  1. Oh gosh. I hear you. Sometimes I want to pat myself on the back for something, and then I think "This was probably only possible because my mother prays for me."