Basking in the AZ sun

(warning, this is a lengthy recap of a trip that I never want to forget:)

Back in January, the weekend of the 23rd-25th, I got to be with 3 of my 4 sisters in Phoenix, AZ.

It.Was.WONDERFUL.

I had been wanting to visit my sister, Christina, ever since she moved out there 4 years ago. But it was just never feasible with pregnancy, babies, toddlers, nursing, missionary life, traveling, etc, etc. Then my littlest sis, Maureen, moved out there this summer when she landed a nursing job at the children's hospital. So ever since then, I began thinking in the Fall that once Casey and Owen were doing better, this trip had to finally happen!

Turned out my sister, Colleen, in Canada, who is preggo with #4 had the same idea of wanting to visit the single ladies, and we said we would try to go the same weekend, I told her the one I was aiming for.... but we knew there were no guarantees we could make that happen, with the craziness of life, our husbands work schedules, and price of flights, we said we would try but knowing we would each just have to do what was best.

There was loads of excitement when I booked mine, then she booked hers within days of each other, for the same weekend!!! She arrived Thursday night and I got in Friday morning. She then left Sunday morning and I left Sunday night, so we pretty much got the same amount of time there. I'm totally still basking in the joy of this trip. It did my heart so much good to spend quality time like that with my best friends. We missed our oldest sister a ton, (she has 4 month old twins - children #6 and #7 - and so couldn't come), but we facetimed with her on Saturday night which was a blast.

Whenever I travel alone, which um, I've only done like 4 times since I've been married, (and one of those times I was only pregnant with Hailey), I feel like I'm traveling so light!! And it is so nice to get to listen to music, read a magazine, or dose off while flying. It was a little crazy because my flight was at 7:30am, and we live over an hour away from the airport, sooooo, I set my alarm for 3:30am. My goal was the leave at 4am, because I was leaving my car at the Doubletree hotel and taking their shuttle. Luke even set an extra alarm for me on his phone. Well, I didn't hear either of them. I mean, I hadn't gotten to bed till midnight. I was doing all sorts of stuff, like make muffins, leaving notes with instuctions for Luke (what to feed to boys, how to do all their supplements, probiotics and Owen's bottles. It's all so complicated.

Anyway, his guardian angel woke him up because at 4am, he was poking me and telling me what time it was. I got changed, brushed my teeth and dashed out the door. Thankfully the roads were deserted at that hour and I made it to the hotel no problem. However, I missed the 5:30am shuttle by a minute. The driver wouldn't wait for me, he even asked me what time my flight was and said I would be fine waiting for the next shuttle at 6am. Um, ok.......so I sat for the next half hour in the hotel lobby. But all's well that ends well, right? I made my flight with time to kill at the gate. No sweat.

I had a non stop flight so I got in to AZ at 10:30am, (45min early! Go Southwest! :) When the girls picked me up, (after I grabbed a much needed Starbucks in the terminal), we headed over to see the hospital my sister, Maureen, works at. We met a bunch of her co-workers and the whole time I was self-conscious of my appearance. I got 3 hours of sleep! I just got off a plane! I was basically wearing comfy work out clothes! Not that it really mattered at all. It was so awesome to see where she works. I love being able to envision her there, now that I have seen it. Which is pretty much how I feel about the entire trip.

Then we went and had the most lovely picnic by a river. Everything about the chicken salad with lettuce, the carrot sticks and hummus, strawberries and chips....oh! And my sisters!!! :) It was perfect.

And it was so warm!! We had incredible 75 degree days while we were there.

Before heading to my sister Christina's apartment, we stopped by her office so we could see where she works. It was almost surreal getting to see her office. We did a mock interview of her since she interviews so many different people for content on the lifeteen blog, it was funny.

When we got to Christina's place, we all crashed. Or maybe I just declared it was nap time. Either way, I had the worst headache and I knew it was from lack of sleep. Man, that nap felt good.

That night we celebrated Christina's birthday by going with her friends to "Escape the Room". If you have one near you I seriously encourage you to get a group together and check it out. We were trying to rob a bank and escape, all in 60 minutes. So.much.fun. Then we went and got dessert and drinks and this super fun and classy bar/restaurant.

Saturday morning we hiked Camelback! Colleen and I had NOOOO idea the degree of difficulty of this thing, only that Christina and Maureen thought we could handle it. Wow, I think that was the biggest compliment to Colleen and I. And she was 4 months pregnant! I mean, ok, it was no 14ner like in CO, (which I never did, but I hear they are hard) but this is the desert, it was majorly rocky and at multiple points we were seriously scaling rocks on all fours with sharp drops on both sides. I think my pregnant sister's husband would have died if he saw what she was doing! But we kept her in the middle and stopped for short rests a few times, drank lots of water and snacked on protein packed granola bars. We had an amazing time. AZ took my breath away. I loved it way more than I thought I would.

Afterwards we were starving for lunch and went to this hipster place called Chop Shop and got some delicious wraps. Then it was back to Christina's apartment for showers and downtime. That evening we went to vigil mass and hit up the Trader Joe's on the way home. 

With the food we bought, we made a wonderful easy meal of tacos with chips and guacamole. Right as we were finishing up eating our sister who couldn't join us for the weekend called in to facetime! We squished on the couch and loved catching up with her and getting to feel like she was there too.

Sunday morning Colleen left early to go back to Canada, and so around mid morning Christina, Maureen and I went out for coffee in Agritopia. It is a subdivision that backs up to a plot of common gardening space. It is pretty big and I once saw something like this in a documentary. It completely intrigues me! Anyway, there are three resturaunts - the coffee shop, a hamburger place, and I forget the third...that are all right next to the big garden where they get all their produce, herbs, some fruit from. There is also a farm stand nearby too. It was so cool. The pictures I took don't really do it any justice. I loved it.

Maureen then had to go sleep because she was working the night shift that night, so Christina and I headed to the mall for a quick little shopping trip. I got new black leggings, my other ones had gotten a tear on rocks hiking the day before, and she bought some sweet cowgirl boots.

We had a light lunch back at her place and then just talked. Just savoring our last hour and a half together. It was so sad saying bye to her. I don't get to see her that much because of the distance, she wasn't able to come home for Christmas this year, and it's always hard when you don't know when is the next time that you will see each other.

My direct flight home Sunday evening went fine, I landed in Baltimore at 12:30am, and then needed to get my checked bag, catch the shuttle to go to the hotel, get my car and drive home. Phew, I got home at 3am. On the drive home, I surprisingly wasn't that sleepy, I just kept music on loud that I didn't particularly like, and it annoyed me enough to keep me awake, haha. I was just thankful I made it home. We were forcasted to get snow and ice that night but I made it home, literally pulling in our driveway, just as it was starting. Thank you Jesus. Luke and I had agreed if necessary I just would have stayed the night at the Doubletree, but I really just wanted to get home.

Luke and the kids had a great weekend too, he really is amazing. I am just so thankful I was able to go on this trip. After all the stress of this past year, I so needed it. I have been emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted. The Arizona sun and my sisters was exactly, exactly, what this lady needed.

                 

Whole30

So hey, I'm doing the Whole30! Jumping on this crazy bandwagon! And I figured I'm 5 days in so time for a post! Let me tell you, this is HARD!

But quickly let me explain why Whole30.

Back when I was nursing Owen I was basically eating a paleo diet. But I didn't even know it. I didn't know what paleo was, someone pointed it out to me when we were talking about the nursing/allergies/what-Megan-could-eat situation. And it was a paleo diet. Minus the tree nuts. And oh how I needed them. All those good fats! No....my energy was low and I didn't feel healthy.

So I stopped nursing Owen in July and began the rice milk formula regimen. Which meant I could return to a normal diet! Hurray! Weelll, that didn't go so well. Since my body had been off of ALL THOSE FOODS!! FOR 9 MONTHS!! it did not take well to me reintroducing them all at once. It was like my body was screaming at me. I had stomach cramping and abdominal pain, muscle aches and join pain, digestive problems. So I knew I needed to go more slowly. I backed away and tried to go slower, and limit my dairy intake especially. And this was all while still being gluten free. I didn't add that back in because I knew it gave me issues.

Anyway, I felt so poorly I thought I had lymes disease. (There was also a suspicious red bite or bump, nm, we were suspicious) So, I went to the doctor and he gave me the antibiotics because you don't mess with lymes disease. You want to catch it early and nip it in the bud. BUT they didn't actually do a blood test because we were in this in between place of Luke transitioning into his new job and his former employer didn't offer Cobra. Meaning, no insurance for us till the new one kicked in. We bought an emergency policy online which was only for catastrophic things. But this didn't count. So we were guessing and using caution. I took the antibiotics not really knowing whether or not I had lymes. What harm can antibiotics really do I told myself (yeah right, and I know better, messing up my imbalanced gut flora probably even more) and I was scared I might have the disease.

Since that whole episode, I still haven't felt great. And I knew that doing the Whole30 would give me the kick in the pants I needed. I need to have a program to stick to for 30 days to end my bad habits. No more spoonful after spoonful of peanut butter as I'm making the kids lunches or popping handfuls of chocolate chips as I'm making dinner. And the diary. I just can't stay away. Cheese, ranch dressing and ice cream are my downfall. Oh and milk chocolate and hot chocolate, and snickers.

I tell myself, "just a little bit won't hurt." But I read something in the Whole30 program guidelines that was regarding the importance of no cheating for 30 days. And how the smallest amount of something (that is a bad trigger for your body) can have a negative effect. How many small amounts that I dabble in are creating a cumulative negative effect in my body?? And are the reason I feel so poorly!

For the record, I also am trying to get allergy tested with in the next month or so. My boys have so many food allergies, I suspect I am sensitive/allergic to a handful of things, and I feel like whether or not it's good logic, "if they are, I probably am"....bottomline, I do need to get tested.

With only being 5 days into it, here are my random rambling thoughts:

- I am thankful I don't mind eggs and that there are so many ways to cook them!

-Getting creative with meat and vegetables is a good thing! And Costco and I are quickly becoming new best friends.

-I am tired at night, but I am NOT tired in the afternoon! It's amazing.

-I have occasional headaches, but I know I'm detoxing from sugar as well as everything else.

-Coconut products are my new love. I used to hate coconut.

-I need to be careful about my tree nut consumption because of the boys. I snacked on some cashews the other morning and then roughly a half hour later, I was helping Casey out of the car and kissed him on the cheek. He immediately broke out in hives on the spot I kissed. Oh and we had just walked into daily mass. Thank the Lord I had the meds in my diaper bag. I carry them with me everywhere. Cashew dust on my lips....unbelievable....these allergies are intense!!

-The actual diet is not that hard. I'm eating food I like and I'm eating enough and feeling full. But I am still craving Doritos and chocolate. (The problem with the doritos is that Luke brought home three bags that were left over from the Super Bowl party he made an appearance at late in the 4th quarter. He and Hailey keep munching on them in front of me and I just want some!)

-I drank my coffee this morning basically black, with just a small splash of organic coconut milk, and I LIKED it! I'm still trying to convince myself that this actually happened. I'm the girl who basically likes a splash of coffee with her cream and sugar.

-My tastebuds are seriously getting heightened. Apples taste so insanely sweet.

All in all, I know this is going to be good. Really good. It's hard to not reach for the same stuff I used to in terms of quick sugar fixes (kids whine, I eat some chocolate). I can already tell how this is going to make me dig deep and deal with my emotions, and reactions in a more adult and healthy way. Food is good, it's a gift from God but turning to it for comfort or reward can be so dangerous.

Here's to plugging away at this, my mantra: say no to doritos! :)

The Mini House Makeover

I can't tell you how in love I am with the new minor changes I made last week around the house. Ever since putting away the Christmas decorations, I have been looking around the house and pondering how I can make things more functional. I did not know I was going to end up blogging about this, so I have no before pictures, but I can explain a little of the former clutter :) You excited?!?! haha

This corner was awful before. The tray was laying down, and had all of Owen's vitamins on it along with a ton of other junk. Like a thing of bug spray and tube of sunscreen, random ingredients for my homemade basic moisturizer cream, two spray bottles, a flask, the sugar bowl and creamer pitcher...I'll stop there. Needless to say, it's 1000 times better.

My new work space!! I LOVE it! It's not weird that it's by the laundry room door. I live in my kitchen, truly, I do. I never leave it. And it makes the most sense for my little command center to be here. My calendar is on the side of the fridge, this is where I make appointments, look up recipes, do emails, read blogs, meal plan, shop Amazon....all of it. This corner space used to house the butcher block which held the Kitchenaid mixer, boxed wine and other junk. The vacuum stood here too before, and the little children's coat rack had a mountain of zip up hoodies and coats. The whole thing was an eye sore.

This is on the other side of the fridge and I cleaned this shelving area up too and just moved things around. Put away all the extra cookbooks I don't use anymore because....allergy free diets and all. New home to the boxed wine. I think they like it better here :)

What a novel idea, the butcher block in the middle of the kitchen!! Shocker!! And somehow it makes the kitchen seem bigger, even smack dab in the middle of it. It's fascinating. And we love actually using it! It's the only thing we own from Ikea. We should change that.

This little table had been here before and the kids were having fun moving it all over the house so I put it away. But it's handy when we have dinner company so I put it back.

Welcome to our "playroom". My desk had been where the play kitchen is. I hated it because it was a total catch all zone. It always looked terrible and was covered with books, papers, mail, dvds, scissors, etc, etc. I never wanted to sit there, and if I did, felt like I was just surrounded by chaos. I wanted to kids to have a more designated place, toys mainly in ONE area of the house. Mission accomplished. (The play kitchen had been on the wall where all the toys are now)

Ahh, the living room. Ignore the funny white chord. Luke is trying to do something with a printer connected to the internet and isn't done yet.....anyway, the kids black wire shelving thing that all their toys are on in the picture above, used to be set up under the tv. It was awkward. They were playing too close to the stone fireplace ledge....it didn't feel like the most inviting space. The table under the tv is a temporary solution, I don't love it, but it works. It is just an end table that used to be in the corner by the couch. I put a tiny tv table there instead and put a box in that corner with all the newspaper for the fireplace. (When the kids get bunkbeds this spring/summer, Luke is going to put legs on the train table and it's going in their room.)

Luke is going to move the book shelf on the wall for me that my desk used to be under, over to the wall above my desk in the kitchen now. He is so good to put up with my rearranging :)

He likes the new butcher block placement too :)

And that's that! I get a lot of enjoyment out of decorating and organizing. A lot. I love organizing things. I just hate filing. Hate it. I think because somehow it stills feels sloppy to me. Putting papers in hanging folders in a drawer, that still end up being hard to find.....I sometimes don't know where to put things, even though I'm the one to label all the files!!!! So I have to wait and ask Luke...I don't know what's ok to throw away sometimes.....it's the chore I might dislike the most. But it is the next big thing on my to do list. Maybe if I can come up with a cleaner system I'd love it. Hmmm, time for more brainstorming!

Stranger Kindness

Back at the beginning of the month, we returned from Buffalo, Luke left for the national focus conference SEEK2015 and the kids came down with terrible colds. Runny nose, headache, sore throat, sneezing, coughing...and they fell like dominoes. First Owen, then Casey, then Hailey. With the help of my Homeopathic book for Infants and Toddlers and consulting one of my best friends and her mother-in-law, we decided on a remedy (Belladonna) and I headed off to Wegmans to get it.

I was trying to be quick, and the kids were doing ok, when we got to the checkout line. Hailey and Casey were poking at some displays nearby of toys, and I keep telling them not to touch anything. Then Hailey sees the isle with gift bags and tissue paper. She points and says, (very loudly), "Mommy, we forgot to get baby Jesus a present! We need a present for BABY JESUS!"

I notice the lady in the checkout line next to me obviously heard her, she had been glancing at the kids and did I notice the trace of a smile cross her face?? I couldn't tell....but I calmly answer Hailey and tell her, "that's very sweet of you Hailey, but Jesus' birthday is over...even though we are still celebrating Christmas." She moved on but I thought to myself, that wasn't a very clear answer for a 4 year old, but it was the best I could do right now, in the grocery store.

I turned back and noticed how sad and sick Owen looked sitting in the front of the grocery cart. And he wasn't fussing, but just looked like he wanted to be held. (He had a tiny fever). So I take him out to hold him and he just puts his head on my shoulder and I rub his back.

Then of course it's time for me to start unloading my groceries. I start trying to call the kids over to help, they ignore me, and I was about to put Owen back in the cart and the lady who was in the lane next to me is all of a sudden at my side saying, "you hold him, poor baby looks sick...let me help you." And she starts unloading my things. Hailey and Casey of course then decide helping is fun and they come back over.

Now the lady's cart was still sort of in the check out lane she had been standing in and people are coming up, wanting to go through that check out line and so someone next to us tried to move it, and someone says, "no that's her cart. She's helping that young mom." And someone else says, "oh well here, let me unload her cart."

So she's doing mine and someone else is doing her's. It was so beautiful and awesome. I got choked up for about 10 seconds. Come on, sleep deprivation plus stranger kindness, yep, I'll get teary eyed for sure.

(and just in case anyone was curious, the Belladonna worked beautifully and everyone was on the mend in no time!)

I'm baaaaaack!

Luke and I were out on a date a few nights ago, and while catching up over our delicious Red Lobster meal, he told me that someone he talked to last week at focus conference said they used to read my blog. What?!?! When you have a little blog like mine, you can't help but wonder, "is anyone reading this??" I mostly do it for myself and the kids, but hey, bloggers kinda like readers, and comments too. So, I don't know who you are, but returning to this little ol blog has been on my mind lately and your comment might have just been enough to make it happen! So thanks!

Things are still crazy in the world of allergies and special diets, but I will save that for another day. Sometimes I just can't think about it anymore.

We had such a wonderful Christmas, as well as a fabulous trip to Buffalo, quiet New Years and incredible Seek2015 (the national FOCUS conference). Aaaannd, I have like no pictures.

I do have the pics from our Christmas card though!

`

Owen is 15 months old, Casey is 3 and Hailey is 4 and a half. Sometimes I still can't believe that I am the mother to three children of these ages. How did this all happen so fast!!?! I remember so vividly when it was just Hailey. And then poof, I feel like I blinked and there were three. I love going back to look through photos and remember all the little moments we had. I look at Casey or Hailey and think, "what were you like at 15 months old?" I almost don't remember! And then I look at pictures and it all comes back. It's hard to explain. The daily experience of them at the current age is always so intense that the past fades, until you really look back at it all captured in pictures. Which is why I should be taking more......

But what I really came on there to say, and I'm almost afraid to say it, but I think the fog of the past 15 months is starting to lift. There have been SO many crosses this past year, and I can't even tell you what a fresh start 2015 feels like. And the crosses are still there, they are just ever so slightly lighter. The boys allergies are already showing signs of improvement, even after the first (of many to come) 10 week session of allergy drops. We start the next session next week.

But this past week, I have:

-bought a membership to Costco and did our first shopping trip, HOLY MOLEY. I have been in one before but shopping for our family (with the kids in tow) was a special sort of experience. The poor dears were hungry as my timing was terrible and we were shopping right during lunch hour. And I might just be going there for chia seeds, quinoa, raw sugar, organic meat and organic fruit and vegetables, and maybe a handful more items, but I think it will be worth it.

-taken down all the Christmas decorations.

- and gone to town on organizing and decluttering the house!! It looks so good and feels so good!!! Seriously, when I am stressed I like to either work out, or clean. I have been glancing around at each room and reworking it in my brain first before I go to work at it. I am simply trying to use the spaces in our house to their utmost function and the way things were set up was NOT the most practical. Granted, the kids grow, toys multiple, needs change, but some of it made no sense. It was another realization of how preoccupied I have been with diets, food prep, baking, cooking and dishes. I typically never let things get so bad.

I'm going to try to post regularly again, but we will see how it goes. I honestly don't know if blogging is that life giving for me. I'm a sanguine choleric extrovert so sitting down at night to muse over things can actually feel draining. I need real human interaction, ha! But I so want to document these precious times in our lives. So we will see how it goes. I can't make you any promises, but I hope you will visit me here all the same.

~Megan

Litany of Humility for Mothers

(A dear friend of mine shared this with me and it was too good to not continue to share it!)

A Mother’s Prayer of Humility

October 31, 2013 by Rachel Balducci

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being Mother of the Year,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being the most clever mama…
From the desire of being the craftiest mama …
From the desire of being told my kids are the best …
From the desire of having the best behaved children …
From the desire of having the biggest house…
From the desire of being the best cook …
From the desire of being the most efficient …

Deliver Me, Jesus.

From the fear of my children failing …
From the fear of being left out of playdates…
From the fear of messing my kids up …
From the fear of forgetting to train my children properly …
From the fear of my children leaving me …
From the fear of my children rejecting me …
From the fear of doing things the wrong way …
From the fear of falling behind…

That other Mothers may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be more crafty than I …
That, in the opinion of the world,
others insight and methods may increase and I may decrease …
That others chore charts may be chosen and mine set aside …
That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may be more organized than I, provided that I may become as organized as I should

Amen

Written by Rachel Balducci, inspired by her need for this prayer

The Beach House

Since we have lived in Maryland, we have had the opportunity to occasionally go and stay at a beach house that belongs to some of Luke's family. We love going there! The kids beg and beg to go to the beach house. Sometimes I think that they think we have different places where we live. They will ask me on random occasions,"Where are we going Mommy? To the hotel? To Grandma's house? To the beach house?" Or..."Mommy, I wanna go to the (insert hotel, Grandma's house, or beach house)." And I must confess, we share their excitement! :)

So sweet, she wanted to bring with her the banner she had made as a decoration for the Hoedown focus party just the day before. 

And right after I took this picture, as we were heading in the front door, my arms were so full of bags, and Owen in the car seat over my arm. As I'm struggling through, Casey, who is already inside the front door and is watching me, sticks out his hand in a gesture of, "here, let me help you." My heart absolutely melted. It's a beautiful thing to me when a small child recognizes someone in need of help, and offers to help them. There wasn't much Casey could do, but he wanted to try! 

I think they look so much alike in this picture!

Hailey had such fun picking up sea shells

Casey didn't like the noise of the waves.

He preferred to look at the water from a distance.

They found this sand castle and and fun poking at it, and inspecting it.

Hailey got such a thrill out of running from room to room and finally claimed this one. Unfortunately, I couldn't let her sleep in there by herself. I think she liked it because it was the room with the starfish decor.

I love catching them in moments of sibling sweetness :)

Enjoying a much deserved rest and drink. 

The perfect place for the team to decompress.

When you don't have a lot of toys, you line up multiple cups of water. And it occupied them for a long time! We desperately need to simplify at home!

Our quiet, gentle, pensive daughter.

Family beach walk.

Helping Casey brave the water. 

Pure bliss.